I have a date!

The last time I blogged, it was to share news of my thyroid cancer diagnosis, which happened in late May. If you didn’t see that post, then, um, sorry for the spoiler. That post is here, and it should bring you up to speed on the excitement of my summer so far.

All caught up? Cool.

So now, this is the update many of you have been asking about. After weeks of insurance-related tomfuckery and scheduling bullshit (not bitter at all), I have finally locked in a date for my surgery: July 31.

I know you all must have follow-up questions bursting out of you like citizens of Hawkins on final approach to the Mind Flayer (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, get off your ass and catch up on Stranger Things already). Who wouldn’t?? Here’s what else I can tell you:

• I’m still not 100% sure what the extent of the surgery will be.
  • At minimum, half of my thyroid gland will be removed (fingers crossed that it’s the half with the tumor on it).
  • At maximum, the whole thyroid and some number of lymph nodes in my neck hole will be 86ed. Fun fact: surgical removal of lymph nodes in the neck is also known as neck dissection. Neck. Dissection. Which doesn’t make me feel nervous at all.
  • Or, it could be something in between. I’ll know more after my pre-op appointment with Dr. Rafii on July 23. Should I start a pool to see what it ends up being?
• I will probably have to stay overnight in the hospital. Which means at some point, someone will probably have to watch me pee. TBD on whether or not I get to keep the gown.
• Also TBD is whether or not I’ll have to do radioactive iodine treatment at some point after surgery. So keep the Geiger counters on standby, just in case…
• Yes, I am aware that my surgery is taking place on Harry Potter‘s birthday. And yes, I will absolutely be bringing this up to Dr. Rafii at the pre-op, and discussing my request for a lightning bolt incision to be used.
• And yes, I will definitely be having a “Say Goodbye(roid) to My Thyroid” party before I go under the knife. There will be food. There will be drinks. There will be a pinata. Other crazy fun stuff is guaranteed. And because I have a roughly 5% chance of suffering permanent damage to my vocal cords during surgery, we’re going to karaoke like the world is about to end. If you’re reading this, you’re invited.

So that’s the scoop for now. Thank you to everyone who has reached out with texts, emails, cards, hugs, and just awesome support in general. I am so grateful for all of you. I will continue to post when post-worthy things happen.

~EDB